Dear lupethefiasco.blogspot.com,

"It's been a long time, I shouldna left you..."

Hey, remember me? Originally I was just another bright eyed college student with way too much time on my hands, which resulted in my cultivating something wonderful. Fast forward to now, and I have pretty much become a ghost of Lupe's past--with no explanation as to why, until now...

Background information

'The Lupe Fiasco Show' timeline- Recaps 1 & 2

Recollections of moments that pushed me to stop blogging
Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C, Exhibit D

Here's my skyscraper...(in case you missed it)

MY EXPLANATION...

Im a non-confrontational type person, very go with the flow and all that. My major goal in life is to make sure I enjoy myself, and that people around me enjoy themselves also. With that said, when I first started this blog I had no expectations of it AT ALL. I didn't start it because I wanted to be able to watch shows from backstage, and hang out with a lot of different cool people (which was AMAZING, btw).. I never expected that I would actually get the chance to do alot of the stuff that we (the Femmes) did. I damn sure NEVER in a million years would have thought Lupe Fiasco would shout out my little blog on what I think is the best song on the album. My intentions were to occupy my time, and since Im a slight dork, I started a blog.

Kennykenken was one of the first visitors to my blog to show me love, and he said and I quote "this blog is gonna get big." I paid that remark no attention. And honestly it was not until about a week after Lupe's album 'The Cool' was on MTV's 'The Leak" (which was the week of his actual release) that I realized how "big" my blog was. I was always open to suggestions and didn't mind letting people jump on my bandwagon, because again, I was never doing this blog for attention, so the more, the merrier was always my motto.

And because I CHOSE not to let people know I ran the blog (by myself until I allowed others to start posting only because I could see my desire fading but I wanted to continue the greatness), a couple of other people got my recognition. And I never got bitter about that because I CHOSE not to put my face out there as much as the others. But what I didn’t like was how some people were not taking the opportunity to explain that this was MY BLOG, my writing, my hard work, my long hours of searching for shit, and not theirs. And sitting back watching people try and pretty much take over was killing me on the inside.

Because this blog had become a major part of my life, and we all know that time is EVERYTHING when it comes to the internet. So being the first to post stuff and find information is key; it separates the good from the great. But what that entails is a constant search for information. I had the shit down to a science, you would be surprised at what you can get some of these search engines to do. It was hard work though, and I did it for as long as I did because I really enjoyed it. But once it switched from feeling like a hobby to feeling like a job, I knew it was not long before this blog would eventually crumble.

Everybody had their opinion on what they thought I should be doing with MY blog. Readers, Femmes, shit I even recall getting phone calls with orders from Mr. Lupe Fiasco himself to take down things that I posted on my blog. It had become a circus, and I no longer wanted to be ringmaster, even though I was pressured into thinking “the show must go on.” And I tried to continue blogging, but it just wasn’t fun. I had no passion for it anymore. And I regret allowing others to take that away from me, but it came down to me either continuing to do all my hard work and letting others take the credit for it, or me completely stopping everything and watching the blog go down in flames.

And we all know which road was traveled on that one, so yeah. That was it. That is how this blog has gotten to this point. I almost feel like I could do an E! True Hollywood story about everything I encountered as a result of this blog (I see why Enquirer and Perez Hilton stay booming)…but luckily that’s not my style.

But back to what I was saying in the beginning, I just wanna do something I enjoy. I’ve gotten paid one $100 check from Google, so it was definitely NOT for profit. To this day I am sure Lupe Fiasco does not know my name or recognize my face like he does some of the other Femmes, so it was definitely NOT for attention. It was just for a love of writing, and new found interest in this rapper dude named Lupe Fiasco. And I took a much needed break but now I think I am ready…

And I’m OUT


-WLFL (The blogger formerly known as MUAH!!!)

Stay Tuned…

Exhibit D

Tuesday, May 6, 2008
My How Things Have Changed

I was re-reading this post I made and its funny how everything I said basically didn't happen. LOL. Like I said I was gonna get my swag back, but I never did. I didn't really realize it then, but I do know. After the shoutout, I was done. Like my attitude toward the blog is NOTHING like it was when it first started. NOTHING compared to how it was even back in December right before the album dropped.

Like I think back, and it really did feel like it was a job. Like it wasn't fun anymore. It became moreso something that I felt like I HAD TO DO and not something I just wanted to do. I guess thats why even now, I don't do too much with the blog. I haven't looked up anything on Lupe Fiasco in about 2 months, when 2 months ago, it was Daily Routine.

And I can't say that I miss it, because I don't. LOL. Not one bit. Because I HATE having to do something especially in this case when it got to the point where I really no longer enjoyed doing it. It wasn't Entertainment anymore, it was a job. And the whole thing I said about the shoutout being the "peak," or the "best its gonna get." Like really. I still think and will forever think that. It was my "skyscraper."

So what the fuck do you do now that you have the skyscraper???...

Riddle me that...Cause all I can picture myself doing is lounging on the rooftop, drinking a margarita, sitting

Exhibit C

Fuck It!! Add More Femmes...
The Beautifully Titled Campaign...(The Cursing Gets the Point Across)

Here is where I stand with the whole thing. I understand that some people may not want anybody who was not there from the beginning to be repping something that they really have not put in any work for. Or they don't want the Femmes to become infiltrated with groupies and crazies. Or they basically don't want someone to be stealing "our" shine. Ok all that is understandable. But heres my thing...

FUCK IT!!! ADD MORE FEMMES

Its Not That Serious Anyway...It is...But Its Not...I don't like to take it too seriously...But People like Brandi, Melissa, Courtney, and whoever else have been showing love for a minute now should be able to be apart of it. Nobody is gonna take our shine. We all know who started the Femmes, who puts in work, and all that. At this point, its bigger than that. Its about much more. We'll never be able to progress and "Do Big Things" if we can't get over this small hump. I mean Lupe knows who we are, maybe not each and every one individually, but collectively, yes. If he already knows you individually adding more Femmes won't affect you because he already knows you, and if he doesn't, it won't affect you either, because he don't know you. Its a win-win situation for everyone.

My Newest Campaign

But its not my decision because I do not handle the Femme Fiasco stuff, I just do the blog. But If there ever is a vote, My Vote goes for Yay...Add More Femmes. Because more people can only help us, even if they are groupies or crazies. Shit...most of the Femmes get called groupies, stans, and whatever anyway...SO WHATS THE DIFFERENCE??? I mean would this even be a big deal if Lupe did not give us the shoutout? I don't think so because now everybody wants to be apart of it, but can you blame the people who genuinely did not know about us pre-shoutout? No. Where is the love???...

BTW, like I said Brandi if you read this, whether you are added to the Femmes or not, I still want you to be apart of everything because you were there just as long as some of the others, and you actually do something, more than some of the others. So like I told you, you're officially the Blog's Design Diva cause you do major work without even being asked.

Exhibit A

Just A Little Something To Say

I hate people who are easily influenced. Like people whose favorite color may be red, but if I say I hate red, then all of a sudden their favorite color is blue. It makes me angry. Like what do you stand for? What do you believe in? If my favorite color is red, and every motherfucker in the world hates the color red, then I will be the only bitch in the world rocking red. (side note: I hate the color red) You should stand up for what you feel, what you believe, what you're passionate about. If you wanna do something, but nobody else whats to do it...FUCK IT...do it anyway. Because more than likely if what you're doing succeeds even a little bit, motherfuckers will be ready to jump on the bandwagon anyway.

And speaking of bandwagon, I WILL NOT DEAL WITH BANDWAGON MOTHERFUCKERS. Its a difference of you knowing something and not knowing. Like for instance, if I have something and Im telling everybody I know that this something is the best thing ever. And they're like awwww, that something aint shit. It aint nothing. But then lets say my something gets a little attention. If you didn't know about my something to begin with and all of sudden you think my something is hot, cool. But lets say you knew about it from the start, AND NEVER fucked with it when you had the chance, and then now that my something is Hot, you wanna fuck with it...NAW. Fuck That. Get your own something. And I don't care how much you have to offer me, I don't need it. I don't want it. I don't give a fuck about it. Keep it. Cause its a respect issue. Don't doubt me, then when I do good, you wanna join in. Naw...I'm cool. My bandwagon is full.

But back to what I was saying. I kinda went off on a tangent there. Be You. Do You. Stick to your opinions and feelings. Its not a good thing that somebody can always change your mind with a few words. You're basically setting yourself up to be taken advantage of and thats not a good thing. Ok Im done. I just had to get that off my chest because I've been seeing alot of that lately.

Have a Great Day!!! LOL...

Exhibit B

Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I Feel The Pressure

Lupe Fiasco is taking over MY LIFE!!!

With that statement said, Don't get me wrong. I am a Fan of Lupe Fiasco. I decided to create a blog showcasing the things I find most interesting concerning all things concerning him. And I am so grateful for the Enormous boost that he has given my site from the shoutout he gave it on his album. I Love It All...But...

I feel the pressure to basically just keep it up. Like its not hard at all. I've developed a system where I know exactly where to go to find what I need. And since the shoutout, alot of people do the work for me by sending me links and things that they have come across. But just the pressure to uphold the greatness of the site. Like I feel Lupe giving the ShoutOut was the ultimate. Like it doesn't get any better. It definitely could get better but in my mind, that was it. The was the grandiose moment, the culmination of what I had started the blog for- to get the attention of Mr. Lupe Fiasco. And now that I have his attention, as well as the attention of about quadruple the blog readers pre-shoutout, I don't know where to go from there. Everyone has big ideas for the blog and all the groups associated with it. But Im still feeling like I don't know whats going on. Like alot (well not really) is going on thats crazy to me.

Like when I said I feel that Lupe Fiasco is taking over my life, I mean that there is not one day that I can go through without him. And its in a difference sense now, like when before I was doing the blog ultimately for me. But now its like Im doing it for everybody else. For Lupe, for the Femmes, for everybody else who reads. And like that reason is why I moreso didn't want anybody to know I do the blog. Well nobody in my personal life, as opposed to my internet life. Thats why I don't have Lupe Fiasco posted all over my myspace or Facebook, why I don't rep Femme Fiascos as hard as the others, why Im not really bragging about the shoutout. I get tired of talking about Lupe Fiasco, day in and day out, blah blah blah. Im a Fan, but Im more of a Jay-ish Fan, laid back and cool, as opposed to a Diddy-ish fan, flashy and in your face.

The blog has almost become my job. Not in a bad way, but in a way where I feel like I can't really fuck up anymore. I couldn't not "go to work" for days or just quit altogether now. Like I could but I just couldn't. And I won't. I just have to get back in the mind state of when I first started the blog. That this blog is for me. It is about Lupe Fiasco but its my take on Lupe Fiasco. Its how I feel. Its my blog. I gotta bring the funness (new word) back into it whether my new readers like it or not.

I feel like I lost my swag. But it shall return...'08 WILL be a great year.